You say there are more things on the dashboard but… THERE IS NONE!!!

I never knew I can type that much!

but i don’t know if I should take it. I already work with someone else but i only get called in when i need to be ther and that helps because i have tafe and i am aiming to be a game creator. Just in the next two months the course will start and i already have plans and so many ideas that can change people and ideas that are running through gamers heads. There is so much violence and sexual themes for games and perents let them play it. Why can’t there be a good game that have very low violence and no sexual themes. Thats what i am aiming for. A game that people will love that is just happy, fun, and exciting to play for everyone.

So much has been happening and some things make me deppressed, happy, angry, or compleatly lost. Sometimes i think to myself how would my life be if i do things like now it’s a big decision. Outside it would be a great help but inside doesn’t want it cause i am aiming for something else in the next couple of weeks. Oh man what should i do? I think sometimes that, will i be successful? Will I have a family? Will everyone go in the next couple of years? Will i be back to be the same kid i was that was lonely and no one to see?

People around me has been changing in a good and bad way, good for how things has been going and how paths cross over and we meet and do new things but bad as in things has been stopping progress and giving false information. Makes me think who do I believe? How many lies have been thrown at me? Are people to bias that their own thoughts are correct? I want to believe everyone but it is hard when I sometimes see that everyone is angry at each other. Things happen for a reason and I see it all the time but people have to accept that thinngs will change for a reason and it will not affect them. I know i have to do that but somethimes I want to know the answers on why things happened like that, if it affected me.

Sure people want to help, I like that and it does help but sometimes all you need to do is just give them a push and help them glide till they can do it themselves. I want help for just showing me where to go and how I did that wrong. I did lost of mistakes for the last couple of months but there are some that I am quite proud about. People help care each other when people are down but they will only help when the person that is hurt goes to them. Some people have to know cause they keep a lot of things inside and it does affect others if it is not said out loud. My friends helped me even from some I did not know will help me helped but I can see in them they have problems too and they need to do what I did. I am not saying that I am always right but just giving advise for people that are hurt.

Games helped me calm down but it is a lot better when friends are around to play with but I don’t like it when people does not like a game if others play it. What I like to do is calm you down even though games don’t do that but you have your friends to do that for you. sometimes game can be an addiction to people and they go to far with it, i know i do and some friends i know does. It can be annoying at times but they arre who thay are. People should not wreck something that people do. It’s who they are. Sure you can help them slowly dull it down and make it just a fun thing for them but you can’t do it so suddenly or else it might break them.

A conversation is a good convo but sometimes a certian topic is overdone. I play games and all i know i games but the one thing i hate to talk about when it is silent is starting a topic about games. I want to talk about other things but that is only in my head, I hate that. I love to talk to people and also listen to their stories. It takes my mind off things. That’s why I need help to talk better, I do have a studder when I talk cause the words in my head stop when I am saying something and I have to re-think the sentance again.

Love is a weird thing. It can hurt and heal anything or everything. I hear stories from lots of people and somethimes I feel for them. I try to make them feel better and thing that life will be better afterwards. Even myself, I have been in a relationship. It ended andboth parties were hurt over it in a different way. When I look back I see lots of mistakes and I know what I did wrong. No relationship should do that. Sometimes I am scared for my friends future relationships. Who knows what will happen, but I do want to help so then I will not end badly or start lots of fights.

Tell you the truth, I feel a lot better just ranting. I never thought I had it in me but I am scared and always be scared for my friends, cause they mean the world to me. No matter the distance, no matter the restrictions, no matter the mistakes we make, I will always be their for my friends. No matter who they are, I care for them. But i main question is back… Should i take that job or stay to my dreams?